Oh Marriage........

Isn't it grand??? Alice from SE announced that she got engaged on her birthday. Then Julie asked about our proposals and how they happened. Thinking about our life pre-kids had me thinking all day yesterday. Man, how things have changed in 5 short years! I never would have thought I would still be living in New Zealand. I never thought we would be this fortunate to have two beautiful girls either. I think there are things I would have done differently (ie: buy a house, travel more) before having kids with Hugh but I surely wouldn't want my life any other way. Hugh and I have struggled for a good part of our marriage. Not a bad struggle but more a struggle of finding out who each other is and accepting that and moving on. Coming together for the sake of our family and putting what's best for them first. I am thankful I have Hugh in my life. Never in a million years would I have thought I could meet someone that has the same values and virtues that I have. And that without one of us, we aren't complete. I know that, even if the picture isn't so clear some days. We both want the same things for our kids, respect the same things and our wordly views are pretty in sync. And being married to him and living in New Zealand has helped me to be who I am and at peace with that. I think for years I struggled with being who I was. Not fitting a mould or people thinking I wasn't really being me but in reality, I have been. Being with Hugh has made that easy. Easy because we just are together, there's no pretending, no acting.......it's just how we are together. I'm not keeping appearances or fronts for the sake of others. And Hugh has made me a stonger better person. Even though the road to self-discovery wasn't easy nor does it continue to be easy but I have no internal knots that I need to deal with any more. And at the end of the day I know I have a husband who I gel with on many levels and I can't see my life without him.

Kamryn has been talking about marriage lately. ALOT, really! So I realized last night that I could show her our wedding video. I showed her today and she kept saying I looked beautiful.....awwwwww, such a sweetie! There are things you miss when you watch your wedding video after 5 years. I didn't realize how intently Hugh was looking at me during the whole ceremony where I was watching the celebrant as he talked. I don't know if I was nervous of Hugh's gaze or if I just didn't take notice. I didn't realize just how long the song wsa that I was walking down the aisle to. It didn't help that it stopped playing the moment I walked through the door lol. And to look at everyone that was there, to see the difference 5 years has made to them. I had butterflies the entire time I was watching. But Kamryn liked watching it and it will be interesting to see in years to come what she thinks of her mom on her wedding day. I said to her today that that would be her and Lauryn one day. She said 'you mean, I get to marry Lauryn'. LOL, not quite ;)

Rewards

We started Kamryn on a reward chart on Wednesday. Well actually we started both girls. Lauryn's is very simple but we knew she would want to do it since Kamryn is. It's gone really really well!!! I am HUGELY impressed by the response to this and that they are doing it. Kamryn wakes each morning asking what's the first thing she needs to do for a sticker! Lauryn does what I ask to get her sticker without any problems. Man, I have been more relaxed and less stressed in 5 days then I can last remember! Clothes and toys are picked up all for a little sticker on a chart! And we have noticed Lauryn helping Kamryn pick up more without any encouraging or griping from us. And at the end of 7 days they each get .10 cents for every sticker they have. Cheap I know but they don't know much about money yet. Kamryn knows you need it to purchase things but that's about it. And when we go into the $2 shop there is always something she wants so this is a way for her to earn it. She has 6 'jobs' so .60 cents a day, I think is pretty darn good! She also gets one bonus day a week. She gets to pick a movie from the video store is she gets 3 days in a row full of stickers. But the bonus sticker can be taken away. We don't threaten removal with the others since she has earned them fair and square. But we have to have some bargaining power ;) Like I said, man, it has really worked very well and I am soooooooo pleased and I don't feel like I am on top them to get something done. They know what needs to be done and we just remind them. Ahhhhhhhh, hope it doesn't wear off too soon ;)

Annoyed!

To all of you that have pop-ups for your comment section, it sucks!!! I can't view all the comments at all! And I can't even change the size of the box to be able to view them. What a pain! So I have to guess what has been said and assume in my reply that I am spelling things properly. And yes this is an option so it can be changed lol. I'm not stating I expect you to, I'm just saying don't think you can't do anything about it ;)

Disco - tonight is the kindy disco/dance/silient auction. I have to miss out :( due to work. And yes, I could miss work but I only work one day a week so I think it's important that I don't miss out on that one day lol. But it sounds like it will be heaps of fun!!! The silient auction alone is worth going, not that we have any dosh lol. And it will be cute to hear the kids sing. Maybe I'll practice with Kamryn today and try to get Hugh to video tape some for me.

Scrapbooking - I have done two layouts. Ok, completely finished one (had a rubon problem!) and finishing the other one today. Yep, I'll get pics to you, Hannah ;) And I'm trying to figure out how to get a 'sneak peek' shot of my layouts for Scrapbooking by Design. When I attempt it, I get too much of the photo and there is quite a lot of glare.

My Back - thanks for everyone's concerns re: my back. It's the same problem I had back in October. But this time I requested something stronger than Brufen which I forgot I had lol. So he offered up Codeine. I didn't turn him down lol. I'm managing quite well considering I couldn't even move when it happened. It's such a pain though cause I know it's there and I'm being extra careful doing anything. And I'm getting the pain up the left side of my back to my ribs and down the back of my left thigh. I'm getting surges and tingles. Sucks :(

Ok, this was only going to be a post about the annoying pop-ups but obviously I had more to say ;)

Kamryn's New Do

Well once again it has come time for Kamryn to have a haircut. Generally I just trim the ends and I'm done with it. But when I did this last time, I realized that the ends were getting harder and harder to find in the many layers that she has. I mentioned to Hugh that I wanted to even up the layers and actually stagger them properly. He said maybe wait until next time lol. I think he was more worried I would do a hack job lol. I finally reached the end of waiting. I couldn't take it being frizzy and knotty any more. So I cut it! And I LOVE it! Man, I should have done this earlier! I can't stop looking at it lol. It's just soooooooooo cute!!! Of course we still get knots but nothing like before and it's very fitting for her face and a girl her age. Now should I tackle Lauryn's???? Hugh may have a heart attack lol. What do you think of her new 'do'????

(**Before and After shot: not that I have to explain but I will lol. The before is on the left and the after is on the right. The one on the left was taken a couple of weeks ago for our Diversity Lotto application, so we needed her to be serious lol.**)

Back Out - Internet Down

Well it appears that our internet has been down for all of today. Nice! Not that I needed to be on it but it's very frustrating when you want to look something up online and can't do it. Or that you can't even get into your damn e-mails!!!!

Then just before dinner while reaching to pick some junk mail off the coffee table, I threw my back out!!! I am dying, I swear! I am in horrible excruciating pain! Can barely walk, sit, stand. When it happened, I just fell to the floor unable to move. And believe me, I wasn't doing anything over the top while picking up the paper. This is worse that the hip/back pain I had some months ago. So I've been laid up on the couch all night with a hot wheatbag on my back. It's a good thing that I already had a doctor's appointment made for tomorrow but I am just hoping I can manage the kiddos on my own tomorrow. I can't bend at all so picking things up or picking Lauryn up will be a struggle let alone putting her in the car. Kamryn may have to miss kindy. So if I'm missing in action for a bit this will be why. And now I must go to bed before I kneel over in pain :(

Rant

The more and more I read about the States, the more I reckon I need to either stay in New Zealand or move to Australia (the happy medium lol). It appears that it's getting so that you can't even shit in public without the proper authorization or commitment that you won't show skin to ogling bystanders. It amazes me that attitudes of some in the States which appears to be the majority any more. It's ok for women to parade around in barely nothing on or attend festivals topless or show their tits for a meer bead necklace. Oh wait, this is America we are talking about and that's all of the above is sexual so that is ok and of course it has it's place in America. But see a breastfeeding woman on a plane, restuarant or park bench and it's obscene behavior. In the words of Dr. Phil, we have the tail wagging the dog here!!! How backward is this???? Of course breasts can be sexual things but that wasn't their intended purpose. If it was then there wouldn't be milk coming out of them!!!! Why should women have to even cover up in public??? Ok, fine if that makes you feel comfortable as the breastfeeding mother but why do it just to make others around you comfortable? They should be ok with it. Why take offense to it??? I'm glad that in New Zealand I haven't met anyone trying to tell me not to do it in public. There are times I covered up for various reasons (more early months) but the older Lauryn got it didn't bother me. It's difficult enough to breastfeed without having people pass judgment on you for doing it at all or in public. Get over it, people! Find something more important to complain about; ie the war, poverty, Hurricane Katrina victims, guns in schools. I mean really, does breastfeeding even rank up there with those????? Build a bridge!

Layout Published

Ok, I know this isn't ground breaking news but it's finally out. I didn't want to post until I had actually seen the copy. Here's my layout that was just published in the Up2Scrap mag. I'm hearing/seeing more that kiwis are getting less and less published. Or maybe it's more there are just as many kiwis as there are aussies. Anyway, I am pretty happy with my published layout this time and I got another full page all to my lonesome lol. And my buddies, Hannah and Ann, were published as well. It was such a pleasure to be published with both of my friends and to see us all in the mag. I hope they try for more as their work is definitely worthy ;)

Engagement Photos

Mom sent me a link for Shaun and Dawn's engagement photos just over a week ago. I've only just now gotten around to removing the watermark on them. Well first Hugh had to figure out how we could save them lol. So here they are. My bro looks like jolly ole Santa Claus with those cheeks of his! And you must remember this is the first time I have seen Dawn. The two of them are going to have kids with some seriously blonde hair! And of course there is Leelee. Her name is really Alyssa but they call her Leelee and I guess that's how it's spelled ;) Kamryn said she looks nice and she thinks she pretty and would like to play with her lol.

You Always Love Me!

This is just a small conversation I had with Kamryn the other day that I want to keep record of and what better place than here ;)

Me: Kamryn, come here a minute.
K: Yes, Mommy?
Me: Guess what?
K: You have to ask me something?
Me: Nope.
K: You have to show me something?
Me: Nooooo.
K: You have to tell me something?
Me: Yep.
K: What is it?
Me: Guess?
K: Ummmmmm (long pause then looks at me with bright big eyes), you love me???
Me: YES! OMG, how did you know that is what I was going to say?
K: Cause you always love me!

How cute is that ;)

Lauryn's TWO!!!

So it's been here and gone. Our little wicked princess is now two! What a day! She woke up on the wrong side of the bed so it wasn't a lovely start to the day. After 3 bowls of cereal, I got her dressed in her gorgeous pink dress. Hugh said the headband had to go cause she looked like John McEnroe lol. We opened her gifts next. She quite enjoyed this part of it. She was saying 'more presents' every time she got another one. And Kamryn would try to help and she would scream 'I do it!' or 'no'. She got a cow, 2 summer outfits, My Little Pony shoes, a zoo magnetic set, Disney Princess blocks, a board book, a Wiggles DVD, a musical jumping matt (which is sooooooo cool and educational!), a Care Bear, a mommy and baby pony set and a wee little stuffed sheep from Kamryn. Then after presents it was cake time! I made a cow cake which is my first ever shaped cake! I turned a pig from Hannah's cake book into a cow. LOL, I think it turned out rather nice. Hannah had the idea of putting 'grass' (green coconut) around it which turned out really cool and tasted yummy with the cake! Lauryn didn't have any problems blowing out the candles and of course I could only find fluorescent yellow candles lol. She blew each one out individually. She did a wonderful job! She enjoyed 2 small pieces of cake and plenty of M&Ms. And then we went outside for photos. And as a scrapbooker, I pride myself on getting the best shot. Well it's near impossible with Lauryn. She rarely looks at the camera and when she does it's a cheesy grin all the time! And making sure there was plenty of video (does anyone do this any more???) and pics, I think we covered most of it. So in less than 2 hours her birthday was over :( I'll do some reflecting later and write down a few bits about the last year. But for now we will struggle on with the emerging two year old!

Bonita Returns!!!

After a very long trip from Snells Beach back to the Coast, Bonita finally made it today! I was glad to open the box and see two Bonita's sitting in there all new. So I snipped the tags off and started to wonder what I could do to rough her up. Well it was raining today so that helped. Then I took her out to the drive and rubbed her on the pavement lol. Then I put some food on her face and cleaned the kitchen cabinets with her. Oh and drenched her in the tap lol. But she still looked a bit too clean. Hugh went to pick Kamryn up from kindy and we put Bonita by the front door on the matt. And I tell you what, the reaction we got from her was one I could never put into words or explain very well. I could hear her outside but I was playing it cool. I heard her say 'Bonita's home!'. Then she same in the house (I was acting busy), she said 'mommy, Bonita's back'. I turned around and she just started crying. She said 'she's all wet'. I think she was a HUGE mix of emotions and the true emotion she felt for her little kitty coming back was priceless. I even cried with her cause it seriously tugged at my heart strings. So we wrapped Bonita up so she didn't get cold. And now she is asleep in her rightful place with Kamryn. I'm just glad we could bring her back to her ;)

My First Ever DT Kit!!!

Well this morning sitting on my front step was my very first ever design team kit!!! I was sooooooo excited!!! We knew to be expecting them because Lisa told us they were coming out. Lisa has done a steller job putting these together and upon further investigation I know we all have different stuff so I'm sure she spent heaps of time on getting these together. I'm very impressed with what I got and am very eager to get started! I'm not sure if I can post photos of what I got so for now I'll keep it to myself ;) Although Miss Hannah has seen it :) I am so looking forward to doing this for a whole year! This is seriously a dream come true and Lisa has been excellent! Now we are all just hanging out for the website to start working :)

Poker

Every Tuesday night you can always find Hugh and I sitting on the sofa watching poker on ESPN lol. I know, it probably doesn't seem like the sort of thing I would be into but I am. I must add too that I don't know how to play poker either lol. But I like watching. This is a game that is 95% luck! You can bluff all ya like but at the end of the day it's all about your cards. So really it's anyone's game; from the amateurs to the professionals. It's all up for grabs. The last couple of weeks we have been watching the World Series of Poker Main Event. Last years winner was an Australian (and I'm really over hearing 'ozzie ozzie ozzie' every damn ad break lol!). It's fun to watch the cocky ones getting eliminated when they think they can't be. But what's even better, is once you get down to a certain number of players left everyone is in the money. This one guy had barely saved $2000 in his life and he won $1.1 million at the age of 23 and left at number 12 or something. The main prize is $12 million. Even some of those in the 20s that were leaving with $494,000 sounded good to me lol. I'm not sure what the buy in is though. I told Hugh that my goal was to be a professional by the time I'm 40 lol. Guess I have to learn the game first. I reckon I would be a hard one to read but think I would have problems with betting and taking risks. Ok, so maybe it's not a realistic goal but if you have the luck of the cards then anything is possible ;)

What a Weekend!!!

My weekend seemed to be pretty short. It didn't feel like there was much going on but Monday always seems to come to quickly! Friday night I had to work and after everyone had left, I stood outside with Ann until midnight shooting the shit and bitching about nearly everything ;) It's always good to catch up like this since I have to maintain a certain amount of restraint while I'm working. (Hush your mouths, Ann and Hannah!)

Saturday was a complete mission! We had pictures at PixiFoto at 11AM. Well of course I am the one that gets everyone ready. My hair wasn't playing along so I put it up and I don't generally like it up for photos. My fat face stands out too much lol. They were running behind. So we got there a couple of minutes after 11 and didn't get in until nearly 11:30. Which is fine but Lauryn just doesn't cooperate at all. She doesn't know how to smile for a camera lol. So after 12 poses, we had a look around the Warehouse, as you do when you are there! Back home at 1:30. Lauryn down for her nap and Hugh and I decide to crash as well. Kamryn drew pics and played with Little People in our room while we slept. I was beat!

Up at 3PM to get ready for the big Guy Fawkes display at Snells Beach. Meet Hannah at their place just after 4. We get to Snells Beach which I am guessing is about 30-40 minutes north of here. I get out of the car and feel a bit cold. I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt and didn't even think to bring a sweater or the girls extra clothing. Great! There wasn't much for our kids to play on there. There was a large bouncy slide but Kamryn was too scared to go on. I found some smaller yard toys that they played on but that was it. I wasn't impressed with the lack of things there was for our kids. So we had dinner on the hill which was kinda cool. I felt like we were at Woodstock or Lilith Fair lol. While I was sitting there, I was getting a bit cold. So I managed to convince Hugh that we needed to walk to the Warehouse for some much needed clothing and/or blankets. We found 3 blankets, 4 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of fleece pants for the girls and 4 lollipops for the kiddos all for under $15 lol! I was quite impressed with myself! And I bought my first pair of toe socks. First pair I ever wore too! And the fireworks didn't start until 9:30 which I wasn't entirely happy about. Kamryn can stay away until about 9 but never much more past that and Lauryn is generally asleep between 7-7:30 so this was a push. But the fireworks were cool! Kamryn said to me 'mommy, this is like a dream come true' which I thought was soooooo sweet! And Lauryn loved them too! Usually she screams with loud noises but this was all fine. On the way back to the car Kamryn dropped Bonita (this is a much loved cat that she takes everywhere) so Hugh went back to find her. He wasn't able to find her and so she broke down. I felt really bad cause I couldn't do anything for her. I told her I was sorry and she said 'it's ok, mommy, it's not your fault, I dropped her'. It wasn't long after that that Kamryn fell asleep. We got home about 11:15.

Sunday Lauryn woke before 7AM and woke up Kamryn. What a hell day we had! Both girls were tired but neither wanted to sleep. Lauryn just wanted to cry and scream and complain. Only had a two hour nap but needed a longer one. Hugh and I spent about 2 hours trying to find another Bonita. Finally find one in Christchurch and ordered two just in case lol. Kamryn asked Hugh if he would open the door for when Bonita comes home. Hugh told her that she would have to use the cat door like the other cats but he felt certain she would be home but it might take her a while. She really thinks she will be coming home. I heard her telling one of her toys today that she wasn't lost and she would be home but it might take her a while lol.

It was a good weekend full with lots to do. The kids were super good on Saturday. Better than I could have hoped really considering I had to wake Lauryn to meet up with Hannah's family. But Kamryn and Ethan played so well together. It was nice. It was good watching them running around together and having fun. Lauryn got into it a little bit but for the most part she was cuddling and sitting with us. And believe me, Bonita will be returning this week. I'll have to roll her in some dirt and bang her up against the wall a bit so she kinda looks like the old one and Kamryn doesn't suspect anything lol.

Back on Track?

Not really lol. I have lost the plot where my weight is concerned for about 4 weeks now. I've still been going to my weigh-ins though, kinda half-heartedly. Knowing I have gained weight. For the last two, I hadn't lol. And seriously, I have not been exercising like I should, not eating the right portions and junk has slowly crept in. So imagine my shock when I weighed in at 1.4kg (3lb) lighter today!!! ROFL!!! I soooooooo thought I gained those 5kgs I lost back with the unhealthy food (ie seadogs lol) and cookies/candy and little to no exercise. Hugh reckons I'm not as bad as I think I am. I'm not sure. I think I've been pretty bad lol. But it dawned on me last night that I have 10 months to go until my trip next year and I would really like to just be comfortable on the plane since it's a looooong trip! And months are slipping away fast and before I know it, it will be on top of me. So I am hoping to keep that at the tip of my brain. Hopefully I can find the track and keep on it ;)

***Disclaimer re: my post yesterday. I don't know if anyone was offended by what I typed yesterday. And if you were, then I'm sorry that you were offended but with every blog you read you have to realize that it may actually contain things you don't like or don't agree with. We are all different and that's just how it goes. I won't pretend to watch what I say or even try to make my blog PC, that's not what I go for here. I put up what is annoying me, bothering me, what's happening in my life. If any post hits a nerve, then remember you can choose to not read my blog or to respond. You can close your window to my blog at any time you so see fit. Doesn't offend me one bit. I don't take offense to most things and those that I do, I try to remain out of. Unless it is someone that isn't open to other viewpoints, then I can get a bit on the defensive side. But that's more about realizing there is more than just your side, regardless of if you believe I'm right or wrong. I'm pretty open-minded so there isn't much that will shock, shame, scare, upset or piss me off. It takes a lot to do that ;) ***