Oh Marriage........

Isn't it grand??? Alice from SE announced that she got engaged on her birthday. Then Julie asked about our proposals and how they happened. Thinking about our life pre-kids had me thinking all day yesterday. Man, how things have changed in 5 short years! I never would have thought I would still be living in New Zealand. I never thought we would be this fortunate to have two beautiful girls either. I think there are things I would have done differently (ie: buy a house, travel more) before having kids with Hugh but I surely wouldn't want my life any other way. Hugh and I have struggled for a good part of our marriage. Not a bad struggle but more a struggle of finding out who each other is and accepting that and moving on. Coming together for the sake of our family and putting what's best for them first. I am thankful I have Hugh in my life. Never in a million years would I have thought I could meet someone that has the same values and virtues that I have. And that without one of us, we aren't complete. I know that, even if the picture isn't so clear some days. We both want the same things for our kids, respect the same things and our wordly views are pretty in sync. And being married to him and living in New Zealand has helped me to be who I am and at peace with that. I think for years I struggled with being who I was. Not fitting a mould or people thinking I wasn't really being me but in reality, I have been. Being with Hugh has made that easy. Easy because we just are together, there's no pretending, no acting.......it's just how we are together. I'm not keeping appearances or fronts for the sake of others. And Hugh has made me a stonger better person. Even though the road to self-discovery wasn't easy nor does it continue to be easy but I have no internal knots that I need to deal with any more. And at the end of the day I know I have a husband who I gel with on many levels and I can't see my life without him.

Kamryn has been talking about marriage lately. ALOT, really! So I realized last night that I could show her our wedding video. I showed her today and she kept saying I looked beautiful.....awwwwww, such a sweetie! There are things you miss when you watch your wedding video after 5 years. I didn't realize how intently Hugh was looking at me during the whole ceremony where I was watching the celebrant as he talked. I don't know if I was nervous of Hugh's gaze or if I just didn't take notice. I didn't realize just how long the song wsa that I was walking down the aisle to. It didn't help that it stopped playing the moment I walked through the door lol. And to look at everyone that was there, to see the difference 5 years has made to them. I had butterflies the entire time I was watching. But Kamryn liked watching it and it will be interesting to see in years to come what she thinks of her mom on her wedding day. I said to her today that that would be her and Lauryn one day. She said 'you mean, I get to marry Lauryn'. LOL, not quite ;)