Ah, The Walk From Hell!

Whenever we are out doing something, Lauryn generally stays awake until she possibly can't any more. Such is the case when we go grocery shopping. We never do all of our shop at one store so this sees us going around to about 3 different ones. I always push her in the stroller and hate it when she nods off. As she usually nods off at the end of our shop. Then as soon as we arrive at the car, she is awake. Which usually means she has only had about 20 minutes sleep.

Well last night as we were leaving the store, I asked Hugh if I could walk home for the purposes of keeping Lauryn asleep or getting her to have a decent doze. Now I only asked him cause I wasn't so sure I would make it home lol. I could just see myself stranded on the side of the road somewhere unable to make it home cause I couldn't manage the walk any more lol. He said go ahead. Now mind you, I could see a dark cloud rolling in but was hoping I wasn't going to catch it. This is the main reason I don't walk much in winter because of the damn rain!

Well as I set out on my journey, I realized we lived further away from the Plaza than I had originally thought lol. Nevermind, Hugh was already half way home so I didn't have a choice now. I was quite impressed with myself as I tackled small hill after small hill and felt pretty good. It wasn't until I reached Little Manly Beach hill that I thought 'oh shit, what the hell did I do this for!' Oh, I must let you know that I didn't have a phone or watch so I couldn't call Hugh and I had no way of knowing what time it was either. I made my way up the hill and about a block and a half from home it started to rain. Ok, so it wasn't a full on pour or anything but New Zealand weather can turn on a dime and I knew if I kept going in the sprinkle (yes, I said sprinkle) then knowing my luck it would start pouring right before I got to our drive. So I stopped and had a look at Harcourts for about 5 minutes lol. Then I finally made it home, not before almost falling on the road trying to cross to our drive because my damn foot gave out.

So I made it home in 40 minutes which was pretty good. Hugh was going to give me 55 minutes before he came looking for me lol. Bless him! I would like to do this more often but can't commit to exactly how often. Oh and if you were wondering, yes the baby did sleep ;)

Another ?lbs Lost

Well today was another 2 week weigh in. Hugh made me go first this time but I wasn't keen to jump on the scale. The past two weeks haven't been easy and we have been slacking as well. So I was very afraid that Dominos pizza for two nights and a Cadbury dairy milk bar (Hugh thought we each should try a new one but I discovered I can't handle the sweet stuff much any more but I did eat the whole bar lol) were going to show on this weigh in. So I reluctantly went first and to my ultimate surprise it showed I had lost a further 6lb (2.7kg) which is a total of 12lb (5.5kg) in 4 weeks. I'm quite impressed by that and does give me encouragement to keep going. I haven't lost any inches around my waist however which is getting a bit frustrating. Hugh figures I probably have lost it from other places like my legs and arms since I am using the exercise bike for my exercise. So I think I might start taking them measurements to see if there is any change. I definitely can tell I have lost on top but not much place else. I guess I can only lose so much in these other areas and then eventually I'll get to losing in my stomach area. This last pregnancy really did a number there! Hugh also lost another 4lb (1.8kg) so he only has 10lb (4.5kg) to go until he reaches his goal. So onto another two weeks..............(stay tuned!!!)

Slow Baby???

Ok, Lauryn's slow rate at which she is reaching her milestones is driving me nuts. Generally it doesn't effect me until I read my November mom message board or I think about how old so-n-so's child was when they did something. This has to be the worst part of being a parent. Seeing other kids thriving and yours isn't doing much other than wobbly sitting. Lauryn has no interest to do anything. She is sitting but we still have to put a pillow around her or she falls to the side or backwards. She hasn't figured out how to put a hand out to stop herself from falling. And crawling???? YEAH RIGHT! She hates being on her stomach and can only stand being there for about 5 minutes and then throws a fit. She will bare weight on her legs but only if I hold her up. She has no interest in standing though. And I know the whole speel about babies developing at different rates but ya know what???? That DOES NOT ease my mind at all wondering why she is slow to do things. Ok, so she was breech but does that mean the slower she is to do things will constantly be blamed on the fact that she was breech??? I'm all for keeping her a baby for as long as possible but why can't everyone else's baby slow down???? Honestly, what's the rush????

On while I'm on the topic of babies, why must I have a period every 2 damn weeks???? I'm taking the mini pill and the lovely pamphlet included in the box basically says you can expect irratic bleeding. Ok, fine but a period every two weeks for 3 months?????? And it's not like I can just make a doctor's appointment to discuss this with him at $45 a pop so I will wait to talk to him when I have to go in for my thyroid. But still, too much bleeding is too much bleeding! Ok, my rant ends here.

Didn't Remember

Well our 4th anniversary was on Thursday. I talked to Hugh at work three times that day and not one word about our anniversary. I wasn't expecting anything since we don't have the money for gifts but an acknowledgement would have been nice. So nothing was said, not even when he got home from work. So while I was eating dinner, I said 'not bad for an anniversary meal'. Then he just paused and said he didn't realize our anniversary was today. The day is clearly marked on our calendar (one that everyone can view) and I made a point of asking what the date was on Thursday. He still didn't get it. Oh well, what can ya do??? Hope he remembers next year?? Hope that once our girls are old enough they can remind him??? Or should I actually remind him before the day arrives??? There aren't many dates he needs to remember but I surely thought he would have remembered our anniversary.

Submission Accepted!

I received an e-mail on Friday to say that my scrapbooking submission to Up2Scrap was accepted! I previously sent in 6 but supposedly they didn't receive it. But this last one I sent was just the one and that one got accepted. This will be the second time I will be published. It's quite a big deal to me but I wish I could get more things published. It would be nice for people to recognize my work and then the layouts would be accepted more. But I guess I have to submit more often lol. I don't keep on top of it all and I don't get much time to scrapbook anyway. So I try to submit what I think is some of my best work. Anyway, here is the layout:



Now I have to package it up and send it away.........yikes! I worry about this part.

Coming or Going???

Most of my days are spent feeding children and yelling at children. By the time both girls are in bed I wonder how the whole day just managed to slip away? Last night while watching Trading Spouses, I think I came to the conclusion that I'm not a fun mom. I don't do much with Kamryn and most of it really boils down to her having a lack of attention span. I tried an art project once and she sooooooo wasn't getting it and by the time I glued everything down on it, she was pulling it all right back off! And this was only about 7 months ago. They tell me at day care she is no different either. I also don't like the mess it all entails. I know they are kids only once and I shouldn't worry about the mess but I do since I am almost always the one who has to clean up. Then I think back to the times she asked me to color or asked me to play Play-Doh. She doesn't ask any more. I am not too sure why. It really comes down to there not being enough time to do everything or all of the things I would like to do. The older Lauryn gets the less time I have for other things. Kamryn bothers her and just doesn't listen. We've taken a hard line with her on this but it still doesn't seem to matter. And by the end of the day, I am glad to have them both in bed sleeping and have a moment to myself. And the moment is usually spent watching TV as I am just exhausted, mentally and physically. And again my head starts working overtime wondering if I'm a good mom and if Kamryn gets punished too much and do I even spend any amount of time with Lauryn outside of feeding, changing and putting to bed???? I don't know.

I rarely have time for friends these days. And if I have a free moment then I would like to scrapbook. Not that my friends aren't important but I feel time is very precious these days. And I think a person gets tired of constantly e-mailing. I just hope my friends don't feel neglected and hope they understand.

Too much to do and there definitely isn't enough time to do it all and I rarely get the help anyway!!! What's a mother to do??? I really don't know how women with 2 or more children cope. Someone said something to me the other day that has been at the front of my head since they said it and it's really getting to me. They said 'when you get photos you really need to scrapbook them then or you just won't get around to it'. I felt taken aback and worried. I know I am behind in scrapbooking my photos but I would like to think that I can stay on top of it all. I guess the reasoning it has really been bothering me is because this person is probably right. The less I get to scrapbook, the more memories aren't getting recorded. And that bothers me as like I said, time is precious and my children are growing quickly. Who's going to stop that???

Weight Loss & Hobbies

*First of all before I make this post, I do not need to read comments about how we need to lose weight or anything negative of that nature. Keep it to yourself!*

Hugh and I started the Dr. Phil weight loss plan two weeks ago. It was a mutual decision made by both of us to start this. With me not breastfeeding I felt I could attach my body a bit harder without it affecting Lauryn or my supply. So I got Dr. Phil's weight loss challenge book from the library. I thought, 'ok, 14 days for the rapid start plan was nothing'. Basically it's just like a detox for 14 days and then you move on to Stage 2, not staying in the Rapid Start Plan any longer than 14 days. So we did that. I am impressed by Hugh's dedication as it is hard for him when he is at work and cutting back on tea consummtion wasn't easy either. I have been exercising where Hugh has not. Well today was our weigh in. Hugh lost an astounding 11lb (5kg)!!! But we all know men lose it faster than women. I on the other hand only lost 6lb (2.7kg). Which I had already said I wanted to lose at least 5lb to continue on with this plan. So onto Stage 2 we go. Hugh reckons I have probably gained a bit of muscle with the exercise and plus I have the thyroid disease working against me. So he says I should be impressed with that I have lost. It just gets my goat as he only has to lose 14lb (6.3kg) to reach his goal. I'm not even going to discuss what I have to lose.................

Hobbies! Why is it that any hobby worth doing costs an arm and a leg??? I had this great idea to start quilting. Geesh, what a fortune that is! Those that have seen my scrapbooking area will know how much money I have in just paper and embellishments alone. So I can't forsee jumping out there to quilt. I have already taken some books from the library to see if I can teach myself. Already found out today that I don't have the proper sewing foot for our machine to do some things :( Looked at taking a class to learn the basics and all up it will cost $110!!! WOW! We don't have that money and things are tight for us as of late so quilting may have to go on the back burner for a while. My main reason for wanting to learn is that I want to make our children quilts from their clothes and give them when they are older. Maybe I can teach myself to do it. I will be trying it out on my own for the next couple of months anyhow. Ok, one baby crying in the background, must go!

Kids, Who'd Have 'Em???

OH MY GOSH!!! Why is when one child is pissy the other is as well??? Ya know, if Lauryn isn't fed at exactly the moment she is hungry then she is just cranky for the rest of the damn day! Scoots down in her high chair which annoys me something awful so now I am strapping her in. And why should I have to do this? There is a tray in her way, she isn't going to fall out. But I assume I have to do it just because that is ONE MORE FREAKING THING I HAVE TO DO! Like there isn't enough to do around here, I have to take the 2 seconds it takes to strap her in. Then once she is actually fed she just whines and carries on. So straight to bed for her and of course she protests to being put down as well. Hmmmm, now Kamryn. Man, she just gets under my feet something bad. I scream and yell because I am at my wits end already at 10:45AM! I hate being told 'no' with a passion! So I tell her to quit whinning like she does (which already is worse than someone scratching their fingernails down a damn chalkboard) and she says 'no'. Right, off to your room then and the door is being closed! Man, my blood is boiling! Already this early in the morning I get to feel like the ogre for the day. Hugh is at work so I can not shut myself away for half the day but I am for the next 10 minutes! Carpet cleaners are coming today so of course things have to be off the carpet don't they or how else is the bloody carpet going to get cleaned! Now let's see if this little 10 minute break has done anything for either of my children. I seriously doubt it but at least I got a moment to vent here not that my blood pressure is any lower. A third baby??? HAHA! Yeah, at the moment I can't see it happening until they both are in school!

Love Being a Girl

Wow, I never really thought I would see the day that my own daughter truly enjoyed wearing dresses or skirts. For nearly 3 years I have been dressing her in the cutest wee dresses and have recently moved to skirts since she is now potty trained, in the hopes that she would love to wear them. I love making her look ultra girly and cute! (I'm not against jeans or overalls or things of this nature either as it's just as cute!). I was a tomboy and never got to enjoy girly things as a young girl so I wanted to make sure my daughter(s) did. Many of Kamryn's dresses will be passed on to Lauryn and of course Lauryn will acquire a few new ones of her own. But it has finally happened! The day has finally arrived where my daughter actually asks to wear dresses or a skirt! As a matter of fact, if I suggest she wear a pair of pants she protests and says 'no, I want to wear a skirt'. It's fabulous! So yesterday I got to do a HUGE skirt shopping trip to the Fox Mall at the Pumpkin Patch discount store and man I was in heaven (I just love Pumpkin Patch even though we can't afford it all the time)! Kamryn ended up with 6 skirts and many shirts. She loved them as we did the shop while she was at day care. Lauryn ended up with a couple of things as well. I know this girly stage could potentially be short lived since I am not the most girly person in the world but I am hoping it sticks around for a wee while and will even be happier for it to stick around for forever!

Now we have purchased a sewing machine and I am going to try my hand at actually making so things for both girls. I hope I can pull it off as I get very determined but if it all seems to hard I give up. Just bought a summer dress pattern today so can't wait to start searching for fabric!

End of an Era

Well it seems I am done breastfeeding now. I have been working towards this but there are many emotions involved with stopping or knowing that I am completely done now. I'm mostly sad but at the same time know the pressure is off and I don't have to be available now to do the feeding. I am not emotional about it and haven't cried but have thought more about how quickly Lauryn's babyhood is going by. I think back to 3 months when she refused to take a bottle but I persevered and she took it. I do pat myself on the back for sticking it out for 6 1/2 months and I feel lucky enough to have gotten that amount of time at doing it. I LOVED breastfeeding and it would have been nice to continue to at least a year but I am proud for the time I have given it and for the bond that Lauryn and I now share because of it. That was the most important part of it and the main reason I stuck with it. Now hopefully with number three I will be able to do it longer and feel like I get more and more experience with each baby. Let's just hope there is a number three in our future!

In other news lol! Lauryn is now sitting by herself. Just within 2 weeks she has made a dramatic change and it sitting very well on her own. She falls back or to the sides every once in a while but last night I watched her recover from falling. It's amazing to watch how much strength she has built up in such a short time period. I am not looking forward to her crawling only because that means I have to keep my floors cleaner lol. But it would be nice for her to play with Kamryn and be able to follow her around to do that. Lauryn seems to be more laid back and taking things slower and that's ok by this mom!

Gossip

Why is it when you hear something about someone, you think wow this is juicy???? I would like to think that I have grown up enough to look past this sort of thing. And I think I have. But on the other hand, I think when you hear things about people you are generally shocked as it is out of the norm for that person. However, since moving to New Zealand nothing shocks me any more. It shocks me when I hear about it happening to small town USA simply because most of these things I hear about are taboo for a small town. I do love that people eventually make their own decisions and applaud them for finally standing up for themselves and being who they are, no matter how taboo. I guess what bothers me yet is the people that live off of gossip! I like hearing gossip just as much as the next person but I don't "pass it on" or live for it. There is sooooooo much more happening in my life to ruin someone elses. Besides, I'm sure I was the topic of gossip once I moved here anyway but it doesn't bother me as I know I am happy with the choices and the decisions I have made. So let others talk, at least they won't be talking about someone else for a change!