Friday, June 17, 2005

Coming or Going???

Most of my days are spent feeding children and yelling at children. By the time both girls are in bed I wonder how the whole day just managed to slip away? Last night while watching Trading Spouses, I think I came to the conclusion that I'm not a fun mom. I don't do much with Kamryn and most of it really boils down to her having a lack of attention span. I tried an art project once and she sooooooo wasn't getting it and by the time I glued everything down on it, she was pulling it all right back off! And this was only about 7 months ago. They tell me at day care she is no different either. I also don't like the mess it all entails. I know they are kids only once and I shouldn't worry about the mess but I do since I am almost always the one who has to clean up. Then I think back to the times she asked me to color or asked me to play Play-Doh. She doesn't ask any more. I am not too sure why. It really comes down to there not being enough time to do everything or all of the things I would like to do. The older Lauryn gets the less time I have for other things. Kamryn bothers her and just doesn't listen. We've taken a hard line with her on this but it still doesn't seem to matter. And by the end of the day, I am glad to have them both in bed sleeping and have a moment to myself. And the moment is usually spent watching TV as I am just exhausted, mentally and physically. And again my head starts working overtime wondering if I'm a good mom and if Kamryn gets punished too much and do I even spend any amount of time with Lauryn outside of feeding, changing and putting to bed???? I don't know.

I rarely have time for friends these days. And if I have a free moment then I would like to scrapbook. Not that my friends aren't important but I feel time is very precious these days. And I think a person gets tired of constantly e-mailing. I just hope my friends don't feel neglected and hope they understand.

Too much to do and there definitely isn't enough time to do it all and I rarely get the help anyway!!! What's a mother to do??? I really don't know how women with 2 or more children cope. Someone said something to me the other day that has been at the front of my head since they said it and it's really getting to me. They said 'when you get photos you really need to scrapbook them then or you just won't get around to it'. I felt taken aback and worried. I know I am behind in scrapbooking my photos but I would like to think that I can stay on top of it all. I guess the reasoning it has really been bothering me is because this person is probably right. The less I get to scrapbook, the more memories aren't getting recorded. And that bothers me as like I said, time is precious and my children are growing quickly. Who's going to stop that???


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