Can't Take it Anymore!

I realize that every baby/child is different but COME ON! I can not take this insane crying that Lauryn does all the time! There is rarely a moments peace and when there is we all try to keep her happy just to maintain that. That in itself is enough to drive a person batty. Well I'm telling ya what, I'm there. I'm officially batty. Gone loopy. I can't take this any more. If she falls or Kamryn yells at her, that's it. She cries all morning. I'm serious. There isn't any break from it. And when I ignore her and she finally stops long enough for me to give her a hug, then she starts up again! What is the deal???? This is horrible. I remember I loved Kamryn at 18 months and it was a wonderful age with her. I can't stand Lauryn at this age. I've put her in her room twice because the constant crying has finally broken me and I don't have the patience or the mind power to deal with it any more. I had a migraine yesterday and there is a hint of one there again today and the crying is not helping. Honestly, what is this crying all about? I have no idea. Maybe more control needs to be put in place, the start of time outs, or maybe just adoption???? Really. What is going to have to happen for her to stop crying? I give up and my head is about to explode!

Challenges

When it comes to scrapbooking I often attempt to challenge myself with every layout I do. I've been doing a lot of looking at online galleries lately just to see what is out there. I love my girls tremedously and LOVE scrapbooking about them and obviously they take up most of my scrapbooking time working on their pages. Looking around, I think I have decided that I need to do more for me. Not things about me, just more pages for me. I think out of the 100+ pages I've done only maybe 4-5 are actually for me and not the girls. I'm starting to view things in a different light now. Things I take for granted. Like the fish 'n' chips we have on a regular basis from Manly. This isn't something we have back home and how awesome to scrap a photo of the shop where we buy them and the fish all wrapped up in newspaper! Or how about a photo of the medication that rules and runs my life day in and day out??? I think these things are worthy of scrapbooking. In time these things will change. We will no longer frequent that particular fish 'n' chip place and with age I'm sure there will be more medications added to my list! So this is a new challenge for me (not that 60 pages by year end isn't enough), to scrapbook something in my life that is important or stands out to me. I've set my goal at 12 layouts for the year and each and every one I will post here on my blog. Just don't expect 12 layouts in a month ;) Here's to challenging yourself!

Ahhhhh, Easter

What can ya say??? My girls had an awesome Easter. And thanks to mom we didn't have to buy any Easter candy for them!! (Just lucky her package arrived last Wednesday just in time for the BIG day!) Our Easter was spent at Nick and Heather's. Kamryn got to dye eggs on Saturday night. This was a first! And her tricky mother put special K's and flowers on them so they would show up when we put them in the dye. She was amazed!!! Amazing how much entertainment a white crayon can provide lol. Come Easter morning Kamryn was all pumped to see what the Easter Bunny had brought her. However, I still had to hide eggs! All 76 of them lol! So daddy and Pawpaw kept her distracted. So much so that she forgot about the Easter Bunny until I asked if she wanted to see what he brought her! Boy was she excited! Then into their Easter dresses and the hunt was on! Lauryn didn't 'really' get the concept of hunting eggs and putting them in your basket. She would pick them up and then throw them down. However, after watching what Kamryn was doing she picked up her basket and started putting eggs in it. It was a nice day filled with cute girls and WAY too much candy lol!

Our trip how yesterday was horrible though. The rain! My gosh! There were times you couldn't even see in front of our car. It was horrible. However, it was nice to return to warmer temps! And my pet peeve for the weekend is *drum roll please*............

On Tuesday I seen a mother in Kmart giving her baby (between 12-15 months old) bubble tape. WHAT IS SHE THINKING??!?!?! Yes, the baby was sitting in the cart eating the bubble tape. Bubble tape is bubble gum, by the way. She wasn't just giving her a small piece, she gave her the WHOLE thing! Seriously, is that all she could think to feed her at that moment??? Neither of my kids have had gum nor will they for as long as possible. Sheesh!

Meeting Hannah

Yesterday was the first time I got to meet Hannah. We have e-mailed and read each others blogs for about 6 months, I believe but haven't met. And what is even more strange about this whole situation is that she only lives like a 1/2 mile down towards the beach from us. Yep, she is only a hop, skip and jump from the beach we always go to, Big Manly. So meeting yesterday felt a bit strange since we haven't met in person before but we have seen photos but really it felt like it did when I met Hugh for the first time. Not that she looks like Hugh or anything or that we were meeting under the same circumstances but ya know, the e-mailing and talking but not meeting each other in person.

First impressions: she looks younger than I thought and looks WAY younger than me, quiet, soft spoken (then there aren't many that match my loud mouth, ok, maybe Melissa) and maybe a bit reserved. Ok, keep in mind first meeting, this could all change as we get to know each other! The conversation followed smoothly and there were a few instances where I said something and she didn't bat an eye in response which I thought was awesome! Like I said something to her about making Hugh get another job so he could pay for my trip to the States next year and she said 'yeah, well ya kinda have to since you aren't getting any hours at work!'. HEHEHE, classic! I loved it! Some others would have thought badly of me for saying that I was making my husband get another job. (*There was another one too, Hannah, and I thought it was soooooooooo comforting that you never made me feel bad or that I should have thought better to say what I had. It was great!*)

So it was a good first meeting. She finished a scrapbooking page and I got to fix one that has been bothering me for a while (still not sure I am completely happy with it!). And I obviously didn't scare her while she was here because she has invited us around for a play date at her place one Friday. OH, and I am sooooooo digging her tattoo too! LOVE IT! Thanks for a great afternoon, Hannah!

Bullshit

Reading Lisa's blog reminded me about something Kamryn said yesterday in the car in the parking lot at Countdown:

K: 'Mommy, we don't say bad words, do we?'
Stunned, I turned around. We just picked her up from daycare so I wondered what was being said there.
Me: 'No, that's right we don't say bad words. Who says bad words?'
K: 'Only Mommy and Daddy do.'
Me: Laughing 'Yeah but did someone say a bad word at daycare.'
K: 'No. But bullshit is a bad word, right?'

Needless to say we falter and obviously she picks it up. We try our best to watch what we say but sometimes that isn't always the easiest. The other day I said 'Kamryn, get your shit and let's go to bed' to which she replied 'ok, Mommy, I got my shit'. LOL, what can ya do???

Fed Up!

People suck and friends suck! But what can ya do??? I hate secrecy and especially where a friend is concerned. Working and friends don't mix well. For some reason in my job I have been pushed to the back burner and I know they are just waiting for me to quit but I'm not going to give them the satisfaction, they can fire me. From about Monday I have been really upset, going from mad to crying. I'm over it. Obviously I am not worth them wasting their time on me and I'm no longer wasting mine. I'm good at scrapbooking and if they don't consider me an asset then I can't make them. It just annoys me that I was there longer but yet I am the one that has to take a back seat because I can't flog my kids off with my hubby or parents whenever I need to! Or maybe I just don't flirt enough or kiss ass enough. Sorry but I don't like a brown nose! Or maybe it's just the fact that I am more forthright than most and don't let others walk all over me. Maybe I'm not willing to bend over backwards for an increase in pay or neglect my family at the expense of a job. But it also pisses me off that I could be doing that job but wasn't offered it. Hopefully one day they will regret what they have done, but seriously I doubt it as it's all about making money and how much, doesn't matter who ya piss off along the way especially if you aren't willing to play by their rules!

My Little Secret

Ok, many of you ask how I get so much scrapbooking done or how I'm not completely exhausted at night and stay up so late. This is my secret. It's my husband. Really. His normal work week is only 36 hours. Yep, that's right, 36 hours. And it's all taken over the coarse of Thursday to Sunday. When he started this job nearly 4 years ago he was working 3 12-hour shifts. And that made for three looooooong days for both of us but I wasn't getting many breaks from Kamryn in those 3 days. Now once Lauryn came along, I told Hugh I couldn't manage those long hours with 2 littlies. He talked to his boss and they decided that spreading it over 4 days instead of 3 was fine but they still needed 12 hours on Thursday. Fine by me, means Hugh is home by 3PM on the other days.

AND that's where I get the time. Mostly when Lauryn has her nap during the day, it's anywhere from 3-4 hours and when Hugh is home. I'm lucky that he is home to watch them or give me the time I need if I need it. I realize this. But I also know that I am one to tell my husband when I can't handle something or when we need a change or when I need the time. In nearly 6 years of being together, I've learned that this is what I have to do in order to remain sane lol.

Hugh has already worked 35 hours this week and probably working 12 today. He worked both Tuesday, Thursday and Friday in the afternoon/night. Thursday was 14 hours and Friday was 9 hours in the evening starting at noon. It's good when he is gone at night or in the evening because I can pretty much do what I want when the kids are in bed. But after one night of this, then I get exhausted. It's me and the girls for 5 full on days and I'm not getting that break. When Lauryn has her naps I can have a break but usually I want a nap myself lol. Hugh and I share in cooking duties as well. It's not forced on the other but we each cook differently and it's nice to have that difference throughout the week. So for 5 days I've been doing the cooking, bathing, cleaning, etc. And yes, I am exhausted. I realize this is the norm for most but not for my family. I look forward to Hugh being home early and us having time as a family. That's hard to do when he's working long hours.

So that's my secret. That's why I don't seem to tire so easily. I have quite a good relief system ;)