Mending Ties
Lately I have started thinking about people I have lost touch with. Some through my own doing and others because it was pratically forced on me. The ones I have purposely lost touch with can stay that way as far as I am concerned unless for some strange reason they seek me out. Which is probably highly unlikely.
After I did a Google phonebook search, I got the courage to ring my old best friends parents. Now I haven't talked to this friend in nearly 11 years and we stopped talking on very bad terms. Once I left my hometown I tried one time to reconnect (this was only about 2 years after I left) but she was still obviously in pain over our friendship and things I had done. So I decided to leave it alone. There was no point in trying to push something that wasn't going to work or would just make things worse. However things happened and ended up we lost touch.
Now I found myself looking at this number for her parents house and wondering if it was such a good idea to call. Afterall, I have grown up and surely she has and things have been put to rest and if not then we could help put them to rest. So I rang (nervous as hell!) and talked to her mom for an hour. After getting my friends number, I rang again nervous as hell! I figured the conversation could go a couple of ways. 1. she would just say she didn't want anything to do with me and to not get in contact with her again and hang up OR 2. she could simply have been standoffish and I would have gotten the clue. Neither was the case. We talked for many hours.....yes it was a total of 6 to be exact! We had many things to catch up on and sort through, which I think we did. It truly was like we hadn't lost touch as I was completely relaxed in talking to her and carrying on a conversation like we still lived close together. The one thing I learned after talking with her was just how badly I had treated her during some of our last years together. And I think upon reflection (which I hope I clearly pointed out to her) the way I treated her had nothing to do with her but a result of things going wrong in my family life or lack there of. Probably the last two years in my hometown were the worst and there was no one on my side nor could many relate.
So hopefully we can move on now and rediscover our friendship in a new light, one that is bright and full of possibilities. Even though I am half a world away, I still think we can get to know one another again. And it sounds like she is keen to stay in touch as well which makes me think there is hope!
posted by Christi @ 10:50 AM
2 Comments:
6 hours??!! It'll be interesting seeing your phone bill : ) Still, I'm sure it was worth it catching up in the end. Remember when I fell off the face of the planet a couple of years ago, and then emailed you out of the blue? It took me a long time to come to terms with what had happened in July 2003, and I got quite distant with a few friends of mine. The turning point for me was that I realised that I missed you, and always wondered what was going on in your life and how you and your girls were doing.
Initially I was a bit nervous, too, but plucked up the courage in the end to write. I'm glad I did!
I think that it is great that you phoned your friend. A good friend of ours died last week and I felt so guilty because I always meant to phone and chat but life was hectic and today became tomorrow became a week later. I didn't phone his wife after he had died because I didn't know what to say and felt I would just upset her more. Eventually I plucked up the courage and then she didn't answer either phone so I left messages. I saw her the next day when we caught up to say goodbye to my husband (gone to work in Taiwan) and we just hugged and cried and then had a great chat - it was lovely and I am glad that you made that call - am sure you felt so good when you finally got off the phone !
Take care and be good to yourself !
Me
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