Happy Birthday, Baby!

Today Kamryn turned 3! What an age! Now that everyone is in bed and I am left to clean up the mess, I have time to reflect on her whole new age. Why is it that your children have to grow up??? I hate it. I really do. It's very hard for me to grab on to the rationale that they have to grow up and yes you would eventually get tired of them being the same age after a while. However, I always feel like the age isn't long enough. Like years should last 18 months instead of 12 or something like that. It's hard for me to see my oldest child growing up. Especially when I look back at video of her from just two years ago. I get very emotional and wonder where all of that time as gone. How is it she is already 3? She was only 2 last year and where did that whole year go? It's times like these I wish I could be her parent without the whole parenting element lol. Ok, maybe that sounds weird but it would just be nice to actually enjoy her more (without all the rules and guidelines) than to look back with regret over something I have done or regrettable something I should have done. Each year I worry that I have taken the previous year for granted and not used it to the utmost. Does every parent feel this way? Is there a parent out there that goes 'yippee, my daughter is turning 3 this year!'? Cause I do not look forward to Kamryn's birthday. I know Kamryn does and she loves it but I worry her second year has slipped by just like her first and now her third will do the same. And I'm sure it will never slow down. This whole parenting thing is an emotional roller coaster and sometimes I don't think I'm cut out for it. My heart really aches and mostly because I love my daughter with my every being.