Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Frustration & Forgetfulness

For some time now our broadband connection stops working with out browser. Now we know it's not the internet supplier since e-mail and MSN messenger continue to work. So it must be something in an application somewhere. Do we know where? No. Can you just disconnect from ihug and then reconnect? Sometimes. Restarting the computer works. Do we restart the computer 300 times a day? Yes! MAN, does it drive me up a wall! And it just stops working, no reason and god forbid you leave it 'inactive' for more than 30 minutes! Hence why we restart 300 times a day ;)

Ok, my biggest fear and one I am pretty psychoatic about is someone taking my children. Doesn't matter how or where, I think someone is going to get my kids. (I just started to type eventually and I hope that isn't really what I think subconsciencely.) I am paranoid that if I turn my back for a second or Kamryn is not within my direct eyesight that someone will take her. Hugh says she will scream if someone tries, but really will she? And with two it freaks me out more. I am paranoid (boy, I'm really telling all now!) to go out with both for fear that I may lose one. Tonight I went to check on Lauryn (I always do once before I go to bed.) and as soon as I opened her door the main bedroom light was on. OMG! I freaked out! I could not immediately see Lauryn in her cot and her covers were down at the foot of the bed. Why is this light on? Where is she? My heart about jumped out of my chest. I nearly screamed for Hugh, that's how scared I was. Obviously she was in her cot on her belly up at the head of it. She was probably trying to hide from the light that I obviously left on lol. How can you forget to turn off the light on your way out? I do this routine every night, it's nothing new. Not too long ago after putting the kids to bed, I came through the living room to find Lauryn's bedroom door open. Ok, I just came out of there and I closed that door, why is it open? I made Hugh go and check that she was still there. I forgot to close the door. The thing is I realize this happens the older you get and with kids but it doesn't stop me from freaking out each time something happens. How can you forget these things? One day I forgot about Kamryn at daycare and was 15 minutes late picking her up. I'm starting to get concerned. Is this normal forgetfulness???


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