Thursday, December 01, 2005

And You Want Another?

Why is it when you have a bad day there is always someone that acts as if you should probably stop having kids then? This is the case with my mom. I called her last Thursday to find out how to make some pies. I told her about my day and how by 9:30AM I was frazzled. I was to take Kamryn to dance class and be there at 10. Lauryn bumped her head 3 times all between 8-9:30AM. That's when I decided I wasn't going. Then I decided I would go and just suck it up. As I move to get them sorted, Kamryn takes something from Lauryn. She starts to cry, falls and bumps her head for the fourth time! Again all before 9:30. So right there I decided I can't really be bothered.

Upon telling my mom this she is laughing and saying 'and you want one or two more?' Um, yeah? And? Just because I have rough days and don't always cope well doesn't mean I no longer want them. I always love them regardless but I'm sure everyone has rough days. It also doesn't mean that I entered into having children thinking it was going to be all rosy and smooth going. I also don't think because things are rough now means I shouldn't have any more kids. Mom seems to think the older ones will then pick on the younger one. I don't think that will necessarily be the case. However, I am more upset at the fact that my own mother laughed at me instead of saying 'aw, I'm sorry you are having a rough day today but we've all had these and hopefully tomorrow will be better'. But nope that wasn't the case. And this, folks, is generally why I don't tell her anything!


Blogger Hannah said...

Oh what a bummer!! That would annoy me too. You are right, we do ALL have bad days (and the ones who say they don't are lying) but of course that doesn't mean you don't want your kids (or that you don't want to have more).
Honestly, I think it will get easier for you as Lauryn & Kamryn get older. They will play together better, more independently and not "need" you so much. They would be like second mothers to a third baby, I don't think they would pick on him/her.
Why do so many people have large families? Because having lots of kids is a blessing!! And fun!! I would have more if we could afford to, and if I knew I wouldn't get PPD again. But those are my own personal reasons for not having another baby, it has nothing to do with whether or not things are "easy" all the time!!
You just stick to your guns! Have more babies if and when you want to, and you will be happy for doing what is right for YOU!!

12:54 PM  
Blogger nzmommy said...

I agree, Hannah. I think the older two will mother the younger one. The next one doesn't plan on making it here for another 2-3 years anyway! I'm just trying to get used to 2 and I know Kamryn and Lauryn will be able to play together and won't rely on me so much. Then I will be posting in the blog about them not needing me lol!

I don't think we can afford any more either but I think we will just have to make do lol. There were just so many other things she could have said. She's also always saying 'oh just wait, this is the beginning' which pisses me off too. Whatever! Like I've ever said it was going to be a 'walk in the park'!

Anyway, Hannah, meet mom!

1:06 PM  
Blogger Lisa said... mom and dad have both told me that. Now my circumstance is a bit different to yours but I still felt kinda like I was kicked in the gut. My boys are exactly 2 years apart and I just think that while it's hard now, just think of the future and how fulfilling it would be to have 3 kids around with all the grandkids at xmas time :) Keep your chin up.

9:01 AM  
Blogger nzmommy said...

Lisa - I keep saying the same thing. They aren't this young forever. I keep looking to the future and what it would be like to have 3-4 children then. I know it's rough in the beginning but later it (well I'm hoping!) should be more rewarding!

11:39 AM  

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